The Official 2014 BOWL BLOWOUT BONANZA

So apparently bowl games start tomorrow, which is super quick. This year there are 1,456 bowl games and no, that is not an exaggeration. You won’t hear me bitching though because; you know its college football. I’m going to attempt the impossible, and that’s to give you a pick on EVERY SINGLE GAME (I may die in the process). You’ll also be getting a bowl name ridiculousness rating, because some of these are straight out of control. I’m going to look at all the numbers I usually look at for these, plus look at the Vegas college football rankings. If for some reason this post never gets to you, I apologize because Sony has probably pulled this too.

I’ll leave the playoff out of this and do a special write up just for the playoff, and yes Jim Mora will more than likely be involved. I’m starting this post on the morning Thursday December 18th so I’ll use the lines from where they are when I get to them. I know they are bound to change a little, but probably not much. If there is a huge line move I’ll update it and let you know via twitter or Facebook. Which you should be following me on, if you aren't go do that now, then I’ll allow you to continue. Alright, now that you've done your civic duty to America I can let you continue.

This may take you forever to read; the money you make will be well worth your time. 

Here are a few things I like to keep in mind while betting on bowls.

·         Underdogs usually do well. One reason being the favored team probably thinks they should be in a better bowl, etc.

·         Coaching changes are also rampant this time of year. Make sure a team hasn’t lost their head coach before you bet on them. Sometimes coaches will stick around for one final game which could bode well, as players will try and send them out in style.

·         Watch out for key injuries. Make sure a star player hasn’t gotten hurt leading up to the game.

·         If a team felt like they got shafted for the bowl game they’re playing in, or felt they didn’t meet expectations, don’t bet on that team. I.e. Alabama any time they play in the Sugar Bowl.

·         Bowl location, check to see how close a team is to their bowl location. It could turn into somewhat of a home game if one team is a lot closer to the bowl site than the other.

·         Check for styles of play, for instance if you have a good defense and have a month to prep for the triple option, you may fare pretty well.

Seems SUPER appropriate (no it doesn't)

R&L Carriers New Orleans Bowl - 12/20 10:00 AM - Nevada vs. LA-Lafayette (+1):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating: 6.5, this is America so why shouldn’t we have a bowl game named after an 18 wheeler company?

Talk about unfair, scheduling a football game at 10 am in New Orleans? I’m generally not in any shape to even watch football when I’m in Nola at 10 am, hell I can’t even imagine waking up at this time while there, much less trying to run full speed at people and tackle them. Those poor poor kids. Forget not paying them, making them play this early is the real travesty.  Anyways on to the game, I’m not going to sit here and pretend I know a ton about either of these schools, so I’ll give you the smart people’s insights.  The Rajun Cajuns (the team that’s not from Nevada) are a 1 pt. underdog in what will amount as a home game. Nevada is probably the better team, but bowl games are weird and the better team doesn’t always win. The numbers are backing ULL and so am I; take Louisiana Lafayette +1 in a de facto home game.

Gildan New Mexico Bowl – 12/20 1:20 PM – Utah State vs. UTEP (+10)
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
5, yup the same people with those ridiculous t-shirt commercials also sponsor a ridiculous bowl.  

How pissed would you be if you got to go to a bowl and found out you were going to New Mexico? I would not be too happy. Since Heisenberg left us, this state has just gotten even worse. RIP Walt! On the football side of things, again these aren’t teams I studied a lot during the season. Although I did see Utah St. play a few times on Friday nights. Usually anytime I see a double digit dog in a bowl game I’m going to take them. Utah State has a power rating that’s 9.5 points higher than UTEP according to Vegas.  The numbers are backing Utah St. -10 in this one, but again I like underdogs in bowl games. They’ll have more motivation and more to play for so I’m taking UTEP +10.

Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl – 12/20 2:30 PM - Utah vs. Colorado State (+3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
8, what the hell is Royal Purple you ask? After a swift Google search, I’ve found that it’s motor oil. So you can do a super manly thing with a super unmanly color!

Now this is what I’m talking about, a bowl game in Vegas! Utah is a Mormon state, so they can’t enjoy Vegas can they? Jim McElwain, who coached Colorado State to this point, is now at Florida. So the Rams will be down a head coach, plus let me assure you that Dee Hart will be enjoying the hell out of that Vegas nightlife. The numbers are all backing Colorado State, but numbers don’t factor in the afore mentioned outliers. Since that’s the case I’m giving you Utah -3.

Famous Idaho Potato Bowl – 12/20 4:45 PM – Western Michigan vs. Air Force (+1):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating: 9, I’ve always thought this was one of the worst names ever. But hey, a potato kind of looks like a football, right? Name a bowl after it! (I’m aware Idaho is famous for potatoes, this is still stupid)

Ahhhhh, stupid blue turf bowl! I think I would boycott if I was told I had to play on that shit, it is the absolute worst. This is probably the only game I won’t watch any of because I don’t really like to give myself headaches by starting at blue football fields for 3+ hours. Alright enough with that, to the game Air Force is the better team according to the Vegas power rankings, but barely. The numbers are split on this one, but Air Force kind of has a gimmicky offense. I think those can be shut down with 3+ weeks of preparation, therefore I’m taking Western Michigan -1.

Raycom Media Camellia Bowl – 12/20 8:15 PM – South Alabama vs. Bowling Green (+2.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
8.25, I literally just found out Montgomery had a bowl and I live an hour and a half from there. Where the hell is this game being played at? Also WHO THE HELL wants to spend their free time in the Gump? Raycom media is still a thing?

I’m still in utter shock that Montgomery has a bowl game. Much less that 2 teams actually agreed to come there and play in it, they deserve an award for that. Maybe they’ll get a fancy new Camellia. I’m sure my grandmother grows some pretty ones; I’ll send some to the winners if they want. South Alabama is actually a favorite in a bowl game, this is a weird time. Vegas has them ranked as the worst team playing a bowl which has to stand for something; however Bowling Green is next to last. The numbers are backing Bowling Green in this spot. Although South Alabama is playing in their home state, I don’t exactly see a lot of people making a trip from Mobile for this shit. Take Bowling Green +2.5, but make sure you have plenty of beer on hand because you’ll need it to get through this game.

Miami Beach Bowl – 12/22 1:00 PM - BYU vs. Memphis (-1.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
1, what is this sorcery? A bowl game that’s not sponsored, that’s really strange. It’s new, give it a year and you’ll have the Random Little Cuban Restaurant Miami Beach Bowl.

Really, you’re sending BYU to Miami? Way to go NCAA, way to go! I’m sure of the 989 bowl eligible teams they’ll live it up the most in South Beach. Memphis was your other choice here? Whoever picks bowl games should be fired yesterday. BYU is generally pretty good at covering in bowl games, because I saw a stat about it on the internet! Memphis is 2 power points (whatever the hell that means) better than BYU according to Vegas. The numbers are split on this one, and the public is slightly leaning towards BYU right now. I’m rolling with Memphis 1.5 with yet another favorite.

Boca Raton Bowl – 12/23 5:00 PM – Marshall vs. Northern Illinois (+10)
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
2.5, it sounds luxurious. Boca Raton could be the armpit of America and I would have no clue. It sounds nice though, so they get a nice rating.

Boca Raton’s real nice this time of year folks (read above entry). 10 points is a ton in a bowl game, but that’s what happens when you win your first 11 games. This is a classic “we’re disappointed we’re here” bowl in Marshall’s case. As they might have been in a “BCS” game had they won their last game. Northern Illinois is coming in on a 7 game winning streak and are a value play. The numbers mostly like Marshall here as does the public. I really like Northern Illinois (+10) here, and I might roll with them at the money line.

San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl - 12/23 8:30 PM – Navy vs. San Diego State (-2.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
12, yeah I don’t care that there are rules. This is my post and I say this is a 12, because the damn name almost takes up 2 lines. Call it the poor man’s Rose Bowl, seriously this is football how many bowl games can be named after flowers (I count 3)?

Congrats San Diego St., you’ve made a bowl! Too bad you’re not leaving the city. Don’t worry it could be worse; you could be going to Montgomery. Navy has a .5 point edge in the Vegas power ratings, although they too run a gimmicky triple option. The numbers really like Navy here, but I always have a hard time betting on teams that run a triple option. I’m taking San Diego State -2.5 to cover in this one.

Popeye’s Bahamas Bowl – 12/24 11:00 AM – Central Michigan vs. Western Kentucky (-3.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
7, what’s the first thing I think of when I think of the Bahamas? Popeyes! Actually hell no it’s not, what a stupid sponsor. I’ve been to the Bahamas twice and I can assure you I’ve never seen a damn Popeyes (granted I was like 8 and 10). Just let Carnival sponsor this since they are the reason this country still exists. Also, why are we exporting our bowl games Obama?

Does anyone know anything about either of these teams? I love bowl games but shit, they’ll let ANYONE play in these things. Vegas doesn’t much care for Central Michigan as they have them ranked 73 of 76 bowl teams. Yes you read that correctly there are 76 bowl teams. The numbers love Western Kentucky here, so I’ll roll with them too. Western Kentucky -3, although I’m starting to freak myself out with all these favorites.

Hawai’i Bowl – 12/24 7:00 PM – Fresno State vs. Rice (-2):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
1, what a pleasant well suited name! However you know its bat shit crazy when you look at a bowl like this and it’s the outlier in bowl names.

How the shit did Fresno State get into this thing? They’re 6-7; oh wow they actually played in a conference title game with that record. Good for them. Both these teams have the same power rating from Vegas. The numbers are pretty split on it as well. I’ve seen some experts who really like Fresno and I do too. I’m getting back to my underdog roots by taking Fresno State +2.

Zaxby’s Heart of Dallas Bowl – 12/26 12:00 PM – Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech (-6):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
2, simply because Zaxby’s is relatively badass. Except for the one close to my house, which is why this wasn’t a 1. Step your shit up Homewood Zaxby’s!

I had to do a double take to make sure a B1G team wasn’t actually a 6 point dog to La Tech, but they are. Vegas only has these teams 2 power points apart. The numbers are split, but one service is all about some Louisiana Tech here. When in doubt I go underdog, that’s my rule so give me Illinois +6.

Quick Lane Bowl – 12/26 3:30 PM – Rutgers vs. North Carolina (-3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
9.75, because this is a football game. Not the place I went in college on Thursday night for $1 beers and $1 games of BOWLING. I mean seriously, who in the hell sees that name and thinks oh that’s going to be an intriguing college football game. No you immediately grab your clown shoes and head down to the local bowling alley.

I mean I want to give you some football stats here, but I refuse to believe that this isn’t a classic bowling matchup. I know that Carolina has some power hitters who are very capable of a turkey, but Rutgers has that one guy that’s badass at the 7-10 split. Okay for real, Vegas has UNC 13 spots ahead of Rutgers. The numbers are in favor of the Tar Heels but barely. I have no real lean here one way or the other, but I’ll go with North Carolina -3, but if it moves from that number I’m going Rutgers.

Bitcoin St. Petersburg Bowl – 12/26 7:00 PM – NC State vs. UCF (-2):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
6, you’re seriously going to put George O’Leary in a bowl named after a bitcoin. I barely even know what the hell that is, and I run a damn website.

This one’s for all the BitCoins ladies and gentleman! What a nice ring that has to it. UCF is the slight favorite here, and the numbers agree with them being in that spot. Vegas has UCF 3 power points better than the Wolfpack. Both teams finished strong and I’m inclined to go with NC State, but I’ll stick with the research that knows better than I and roll with UCF -2. In a game that’s close to home.  

Military Bowl Presented by Northrop Grumman – 12/27 12:00 PM – Cincinnati vs. Virginia Tech (+3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
8, please dear god tell me Dick Cheney is the (dis)honorary coin flipper for this game! What the hell is Northrop Grumman you ask; well after my 2nd Google search of the day I can tell you that it’s a defense company. 4th largest as of 2010; just wait til they get their candidate in office though, they’re coming for you #1.

Hahahaha I just saw a projection that had Virginia Tech scoring 30 points. Hahahaha, I’m still laughing. They’ll probably score 50 now just to spite me. Vegas apparently isn’t too fond of the Hokies as they have them ranked 19 spots and 5.5 power points behind Cincinnati. The numbers are split on this one, but for the most part actually like Virginia Tech. I’ll tell you one thing, I ain’t betting on ole Tommy Two Ears Tubberville. Give me Virginia Tech + 3, as I like their defense to squeak out the win.

Hyundai Sun Bowl – 12/27 1:00 PM – Arizona State vs. Duke (+7.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4, don’t really know that Sun is the first thing that comes to mind when I think of a Hyundai, but I’ll allow it.

Is this a home game for Arizona State? Nope, I’m dumb and forgot this game is in Texas. Oh well, all that Southwestern shit runs together anyways. Not too many Duke fans will be making this voyage, unless they think it’s a basketball game. Let’s not get silly though these are fine Duke folks we’re talking about here. Vegas has Arizona St. a full 25 spots and 8 power points ahead of Duke. Those Blue Devils were covering fools however, going 7-4 ATS this year. The numbers are backing Duke here at 7.5, and I will too. Duke +7.5 seems right here, since this game has letdown status all over it for Arizona State.

Duck Commander Independence Bowl – 12/27 2:30 PM – Miami vs. South Carolina (+3.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
9.5, you’re really sending MIAMI to the DUCK COMMANDER BOWL?! Also why the hell does Duck Commander still exist, hey man you’ve got a beard and wear camo all the time YOU’RE HILARIOUS (110% of the south).

I spent a few of my evenings this week watching “The U” series, and I can’t think of a worse bowl to send Miami to. Oh well, at least Spurrier will fit right in. You have to think that both of these teams are a little bit disappointed to be here, all depends on which team wants to try and have a positive springboard for next year. The numbers really like Miami in this spot, but I think South Carolina probably has the more talented team. Vegas has Miami ranked 8 spots and 1.5 power points above South Carolina. Apparently this game has the most action of any non playoff game with a lot coming in on Miami. All the more reason I’m going with South Carolina +3.5, I think the money line might be in play here as well.

New Era Pinstripe Bowl – 12/27 3:30 PM - Boston College vs. Penn State (+2.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
2, but on a biased scale an 11. Because screw the Yankees; other than that, not a bad name for a game in Yankee stadium. JEEETTTAAAAHHHHH!!!!

Apparently the brand name did no good for Penn State in regards of making them a favorite. I guess that’s what happens when you go 6-6 in a relatively weak B1G. The numbers are split in this situation, and Vegas thinks Boston College is 17 spots and 4 power points better than Penn State. A few of the experts I’ve read like Penn State in this one. I still think Hackenburg is a better than average QB and with a couple of weeks to prepare should put up good numbers against an average Boston College defense. Therefore, I’m giving you Penn State +2.5

National University Holiday Bowl – 12/27 7:00 PM – Nebraska vs. USC (-6.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
6, a third Google search of the day made me aware of this fine institution of higher learning. They’re in La Jolla, California; which is nice because my neighbors first set of golf clubs were La Jolla. They were shit, which I assume this college is.

Kind of strange to see such big programs playing in a shit bowl game. Holy shit the public is on USC at a 90% clip right now. I guess that’s what happens when the opponent fired their coach a few weeks ago. Nebraska is slotted 8 spots behind USC and 4 power points lower. The numbers are split on this one, but the ones backing SC are much more conclusive. I can see Kessler for USC having a huge game to propel himself in the preseason Heisman talks and USC into the preseason top 10 next year. If anyone is looking for a springboard it’s the Trojans. I absolutely hate siding with such a favorite, that the public loves but since I don’t know who’s coaching Nebraska, USC -6.5 has to be the play here.

AutoZone Liberty Bowl – 12/29 1:00 PM – Texas A&M vs. West Virginia (-3.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4, AutoZone, Memphis and football. That’s a hell of a combination right there.

I don’t know if you’re on the Twitter, if you are or aren’t and haven’t seen some of the back and forth on this game you need to check it out. Both teams had mildly disappointing seasons, especially A&M considering where they were after the first couple of weeks. The numbers are again split on this one, but the Vegas rankings have West Virginia 2 spots and 1.5 points better than A&M. I’m an SEC guy, so any time I can get an SEC team in an underdog role I’m probably going to take them. This instance is no different; give me Texas A&M +3.5.

Russell Athletic Bowl – 12/29 4:30 PM – Oklahoma vs. Clemson (+3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
5, normal ass sounding name, would probably be around a 2 but higher because seriously WHO THE HELL WEARS RUSSELL ATHLETIC?

This season reeks of disappointment for Oklahoma. Many thought they were the best team in America after the first 4 weeks. Well not so much. That’s something to keep in mind here; do they really want to be here? Vegas has these 2 teams at 22 and 23 in their rankings, both having a power rating of 36. That’s about as even as you can get folks. The numbers are also split on this, but none of them are leaning too heavily on either side. In cases like this, especially bowl games I’ll roll with the underdogs. Therefore give me Clemson +3 and that salty defense.

Advocare V100 Texas Bowl – 12/29 8:00 PM – Arkansas vs. Texas (+6):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
7.5, mainly because there are what looks like algebraic functions in the name. Also, how the hell is Texas allowed to play in the Texas Bowl? Calling collusion right now! 

Grown man football (which apparently gets you to 6-6 in 2014)! If you like good quarterback play, do not under any circumstances turn this game on. I was kind of surprised to see Texas this big of a dog, but apparently Vegas loves Arky. As evidenced by the fact that they have them ranked 16th in their power rankings; which happens to be 19 spots and 8.5 points better than the Longhorns. The numbers are split on this one as well; and I haven’t seen too many people making picks on this one. In a spot like this, I’m going with the underdog who is basically playing a home game. Give me Texas +6 as they look to gain some positive momentum for next year. 

Franklin American Mortgage Music City Bowl – 12/30 2:00 PM – Notre Dame vs. LSU (-7):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
8.75, mainly because no one from LSU can even spell the word “mortgage”. Again it’s too damn long and mortgages and college football don’t really mix. Or maybe they do, yeah they most definitely do.

Catholics vs. Corndogs; man that has a nice ring to it, does anyone have that on a t-shirt yet? If they start popping up next week I want a cut! I think 7 is a pretty big number in this spot for LSU, especially considering they don’t have much of a quarterback. Looking like we have another case of split numbers here, and both sides are very confident in their respective picks. Vegas has LSU slotted at 14; 29 spots ahead of 43rd ranked Notre Dame. The power ratings favor LSU by 14; which is the biggest discrepancy I’ve seen so far. Sounds good to me, give me LSU -7 to give these freshman even more momentum for next year.

Belk Bowl – 12/30 5:30 PM – Georgia vs. Louisville (+6.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
2, this isn’t too bad right? Plus they were even kind enough to throw some alliteration our way, which I very much enjoy. Also mom’s Christmas present came from Belk at a discount!

Every time I think of this game I think of the bad beat Duke suffered a few years ago and of course the money I lost. Good thing that was years past, and we’re making money on this game this year! The numbers are siding with Louisville here. However Vegas has Georgia ranked 10th, 16 spots ahead of the Cardinals. Again, not too many people picking this game to go on so it sounds like an underdog spot to me. Give me Louisville +6.5 as I think Georgia will feel disappointed to be there.

Foster Farms Bowl – 12/30 9:00 PM – Maryland vs. Stanford (-14):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
5, because it’s named after a damn poultry company. I can’t wait for next year’s Tyson Chicken Bowl.

Here you are people, your biggest spread in any bowl game, and it’s Stanford. Two touchdowns is a shit ton in my opinion in a bowl game. I don’t need to look at any numbers or rankings to know that I’m taking a team that’s getting 14 points in a bowl game. Maryland +14 is my pick, and probably the easiest pick on here for me to make.

Chick-Fil-A Peach Bowl – 12/31 – 11:30 PM – Ole Miss vs. TCU (-3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
1, because Chic-Fil-A is awesome, so there will be no ill words spoke of it here. Also; props for going back to Peach Bowl as the main name, although I’m now thinking about Frank Underwood and damnit House of Cards season 3, HURRY UP!

Ahhh the “What Could Have Been” bowl, I have to believe TCU is still devastated after not getting in the playoff. Ole Miss has to be a little disappointed considering they were a top 2 team earlier in the year. I expect this will be a good game; it all depends on TCU’s attitude. Either they’re still salty from not getting in the playoff and don’t care about being there or they want to prove to everyone that they belong and will play with a fiery passion. Points to me for using those words, am I right? Numbers are slightly backing Ole Miss here. Vegas has TCU at 3 in their power rankings with a 46.5 power rating, while Ole Miss is slightly lower at 9 and 42. As mentioned before I generally like SEC underdogs, so I’m taking Ole Miss +3.

Vizio Fiesta Bowl – 12/31 – 3:00 PM - Boise State vs. Arizona (-3.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4, not too terrible, no more Tostitos which will be weird to say aloud. Yup, it is I just tried it.

Yeah congratulations if you predicted this one before the season started. Will Boise channel their inner Ghosts of Fiesta Bowls past and pull the upset here? The numbers are split on that decision. Vegas only has Arizona 6 spots ahead of Boise at 19. If Arizona’s offense looks anything like they did in the Pac 12 championship game, run! Since everything is split here, I’ll go with the underdog who has way more to play for. Boise State +3.5 to keep it close is the play.

Capital One Orange Bowl – 12/31 7:00 PM – Mississippi State vs. Georgia Tech (+7):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
3 oh shit! Do we have some credit card beef here? This used to be a Discover sponsored bowl, now Samuel Jackson will be flooding your TV for 4 hours.

How cute, Mississippi State actually made it to a decent bowl game! Oh so did Georgia Tech! How neat! Apparently a lot of people see a lot of value here in Georgia Tech. I’m not buying it, (insert triple option offense comment here). The numbers are split on this one and Vegas has State 5 spots and 3 points better than the Yellow Jackets. I don’t bet on triple option teams out of the regular season so I’m taking Mississippi State -7 to roll.

Outback Bowl – 1/1/15 11:00 AM – Auburn vs. Wisconsin (+6.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
0, unless you hate Auburn as much as I do, then a 10. Honestly though how can you hate on a bowl game named after the greatest food chain there is. Not the best restaurant, just the best chain. Plus you get a bloomin’ onion or cheese fries free depending on who wins.

Barry Alvarez is coaching another bowl for Wisconsin. Why the hell does he even bother being the AD, everyone in America knows he is still the coach up there, just put on a headset and do it full time. He’s a bigger puppet master than Jim Hensen. I generally stay away from teams that lose their coach, but this circumstance is different. Wisky’s coach never left. The numbers are again split here, and Vegas only has Auburn as 3 spots and 1 point higher. I think Melvin Gordon will be in contention to break the record he already broke then had broke again for most yards in a single game. Not saying Wisconsin wins, but they’ll keep it really close; take Wisconsin +6.5.

Goodyear Cotton Bowl Classic – 1/1/15 11:30 AM – Michigan State vs. Baylor (-2.5)
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4, I don’t remember this ever being sponsored but this is America and everything has to be sponsored. I’m taking a shit this afternoon that will be brought to you by the fine folks at Academy Outdoors. If you have to sponsor the Cotton Bowl, I guess Goodyear isn’t the worst option.

Is Baylor still bitching about being left out? Here’s an idea, schedule someone other than Snead State out of conference. Vegas sees Baylor as the 4th best team which is 4 spots and 3 points better than Michigan State. The numbers are split, with a lean towards Baylor. One thing numbers don’t factor in here is that defenses can prepare well for high power offenses with time off. I like Michigan State +2.5 to win outright here. So take the money line if you’re so inclined to do so. 

Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl – 1/1/15 12:00 PM – Missouri vs. Minnesota (+5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
9, this is basically an idiom. Hot wings and citrus? How the hell does that go together? Also, BWW kind of sucks, you’ll realize that after you graduate kids. .

Whoa; believe it or not this is a ranked matchup. I saw Missouri play a couple of weeks ago and I’m none too impressed. Especially with their spelling techniques, there is no Z in Missouri good people. On to the matchup, the numbers can’t make up their damn minds and are split again. Apparently Missouri has a big red zone advantage here, because you know research. Vegas actually has Missouri ranked at 13, 14 spots ahead of Minnesota. The Golden Gophers won me some money towards the end of the season, but I’m not giving them the chance here. I can’t believe I’m saying this after watching them 2 weeks ago, but I’m taking Missouri -5.

Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl – 1/2/15 11:00 AM – Houston vs. Pittsburgh (-3):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
8, alright America. You’ve got 2 chances to make a Dick Cheney coin flip happen, here’s your other chance. Again, why does the military have to sponsor football?

Pittsburgh in a non Birmingham Bowl? Good for them! I was under the influence that Houston would not be playing in a bowl since ya know they fired their coach and all. Didn’t really think that was the kind of place you got to fire your coach if you went bowling. On that note, the Panthers just lost their coach, who’s going back to Wisconsin. So this is a game you can’t really factor in the coach leaving since they both are. Vegas has Pitt 11 spots and 2.5 points ahead of Houston. The numbers like Pittsburgh, and as of now the public likes Houston, which means I’m rolling with Pittsburgh -3.

Taxslayer Bowl – 1/2/15 2:20 PM – Iowa vs. Tennessee (-3.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
5.5, maybe it’s desensitization since it’s been this for a few years, but I still want to know what the hell a Taxslayer is.

Butch Jones and Kirk Ferentz outchea slaying some taxes, son! Again, I’m going to need some education on what a tax slayer is. Nice to see the big orange back in a bowl after a few years off (no it’s not). These teams are 38th and 39th and both have a power rating of 30 according to Vegas. Numbers are split, but some sharps are taking a liking to Iowa. I don’t trust the Hawkeyes at all, so give me Tennessee -3.5.

Valero Alamo Bowl – 1/2/15 5:45 PM – Kansas State vs. UCLA (-2):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4, gas stations and the Alamo. That’s pure #MERICA right there.

Old Man vs. Disappointment, that’s what I’m going with here; Earnest Hemingway would be proud. UCLA came into this season with playoff hopes only to wind up playing in a gas company bowl. According to the sharps, Kansas State should really be the favorite here. Vegas rankings have KState at 11 with a 40.5 power rating, compared to a 21 ranking and 36.5 power rating for UCLA. No surprise that the numbers lean towards K State here as well, I’m rolling with them too. Go with Kansas State +2, and take the money line if you’re feeling risky.

Ticketcity Cactus Bowl – 1/2/15 9:15 PM – Washington vs. Oklahoma State (+5.5):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
4.25, I don’t really know what Ticket City is but I assume it’s a stub hub type deal. Cacti are cool (that’s the plural form of Cactus, in case you’ve been drinking heavily already). On that note shouldn’t this be the cacti bowl?

Remember on the first Saturday where Oklahoma State kept it close with Florida State and everyone thought they were awesome? Yeah, that’s not the case. Like not at all. Washington had a decent season in the first year of the Chris Peterson era. Vegas has Washington as 5 power points better and 19 spots higher in their power rankings. The numbers don’t have a heavy lean either way at 5.5. Washington has a really good pass rush, and Oklahoma State kind of sucks at protecting against that. See kids, more internet research! I haven’t really seen anyone picking Oklahoma State except the public; more the reason to take Washington -5.5.

Birmingham Bowl – 12/3/15 11:00 AM – East Carolina vs. Florida (-7):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
Either a 0 or 10. I live in Birmingham, so I don’t really know what to think here. It’s being played in good ole Legion Field where the UAB Bl…oh wait, that doesn’t exist anymore. This should be the Saw’s Soul Kitchen Birmingham Bowl, then it would be a 100.

Alright, way to go Florida! Come on down to Birmingham! There’s so much to do here, like see that statue that no one knows the meaning of! Don’t do that, go to Avondale and Saw’s and make that all you do on your voyage. Well there are other places, just tweet at us and we’ll let you know where. On to the game: no surprise here that Vegas has Florida 17 spots and 5 points higher here. Although you have to factor in that Florida loses their coach. The numbers have no real lean at all here, which inclines me to give you East Carolina +6.5 to keep it close and possibly pull the upset. Because I can guarantee you Florida has no interest in being here.

GoDaddy Bowl – 1/4/15 8:00 PM – Toledo vs. Arkansas State (+4):
Bowl Name Ridiculousness Rating:
3, tis a strange name for a bowl but if it weren’t for GoDaddy you wouldn’t be here right now so no hate. I don’t mean on this earth silly, I mean on this site.  

You did it! You’ve made it all the way through this bowl marathon! Yeah! You deserve a cookie, or a beer; probably a beer. Let me know next time you see me and I’ll get you a cool cool beverage. The final game of the Bowl Blowout is a shitty one folks; because 75% of bowl games are. Again, I know next to nothing about these teams, but Vegas has Toledo 6 spots and 3 points higher than Arkansas State so we’ll start from there. The numbers love Arkansas State in this spot and so do I. Therefore, your final pick of this bowl game blowout bonanza extreme special extravaganza is Arkansas State +4.

Again, thank you so much for your time and please try and share this with as many of your friends as you can. I’ll keep everyone updated of our progress via twitter and Facebook. Also, be sure to check back soon for the Playoff write-up.

Merry Christmas good folks!